BallGate

-Since historic home run #500 on Saturday, the New York tabloids have been all over the lucky fan that fought off the rabid horde in the left field seats and emerged with the valuable souvenir. The Daily News has been especially enamored with the ball's new owner, Walter "Sonny" Kowalczyk. They've now spent three days covering his apparently impossible dilemma. In fact, they’ve provided intimate inside into the man holding the money-ball. So just in case anyone really wants to get to know an impossibly lucky Yankees fan from Jersey, the News is providing you with the inside scoop, managing to pepper their story with snippets of Mr. Kowalczyk's MySpace.

Apparently, "Sonny" was underwhelmed by the Yankees' attempts at bartering for the ball. So now, he's taken to sitting back and waiting for the person who'll offer him the most cash. Of course, since he’s such a lifelong, die-hard Yankees fan, he’s hoping that it's A-Rod.

In today's edition the News brings you the darker side of falling ass-backwards into a valuable baseball: according to Mr. Kowalczyk's brother, Lucky Sonny is afraid to walk the streets of Trenton (nothing surprising about that), for fear that some ruffian will try to coerce the ball away from him via blunt force trauma. The brother, being a valued member of the Trenton Police force and undoubtedly an upstanding citizen, has promised to use his gun to protect his little brother and his precious baseball.

While the Kowalczyk family battens down the hatches while deciding the ball's fate, they have not shied away from milking their 15 minutes of fame as much as possible. That same Daily News story in today’s edition also reveals the two brothers' longing for the advice (and publicity) of NYC sports talk Gods Mike and the Mad Dog. One hopes that if the two DJs cross paths with either of the Kowalczyk's, they inform them once and for all that nobody really gives a damn about the ball save the guy who caught it and the guy who hit it.

Regardless, though, both myself and the reporters at the Daily News can only quiver with anticipation as this saga continues to unfold. I'm hoping for some bombshell developments today, as I’ll continue to monitor BallGate closely, and of course I'll be ready to report should any deals be struck or any more useless stories be written.