It Belongs In A Museum!

An off day leaves me looking ahead to a glorious day that will somehow unexpectedly combine two of my favorite things: the New York Yankees and the greatest action hero of all time, Indiana Jones. Yes, on May 22nd, some sort of Indiana Jones and the Island of the Crystal Skull-related event or events seem to be scheduled for the Yankees' home game that night against the Baltimore Orioles. What evidence is there of some sort of Indy/Yankee cross-over? Take a look at this image of the Yankees website's official schedule (courtesy of my man Cameron who pointed this out to me):



So as luck has it, this is the next game I have tickets to. Considering I've been anticipating the release of the new Indiana Jones film for months, the combination of the two events on the same day is pretty amazing. As a result, I plan on pulling the ultimate double feature on the night of the 22nd: a Yankees game against artifact-stealing moneygrubbers, embodied by the Baltimore Orioles (especially that Kevin Millar and his stupid facial hair), followed by a screening of the Island of the Crystal Skull. I've invited the biggest Indy Trilogy Fanboy I know, my good buddy Jesse, and we're expecting nothing short of an amazing night.

Mystery, though, still surrounds what that image of Dr. Jones on the Yankees' schedule really means. No evidence can be dug up on the vast interweb as to what specifically is happening between Indiana and the Yankees. My least imaginative assumption is a Spider Man 3-like gimmick of advertising the film copiously throughout the night's game. That means the bases being emblazoned with the film's logo, commercials or clips from the movie being shown on the Stadium's Diamond Vision as well as the YES broadcast, and so on. My fingers are crossed for an increase in glitz and glamor via Harrison Ford throwing out the ceremonial first pitch, while decked out in full hat and leather jacket Indy regalia. Although I suppose I could settle for a straightforward appearance...hell I'd even settle for a Shia LeBouf cameo.

If Speilberg and Lucas wanted to really capitalize on their MLB partnership, though, they would get creative and set up some elaborate interactive Indiana Jones-themed fanzones outside of Yankee Stadium on the night of their film's release. Imagine getting to recreate the opening boulder escape scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark in a giant inflatable replica that takes up all of River Avenue in the Bronx.

Or, maybe set up a life-size recreation of the infamous Temple of Doom. Where, you ask? Why, this would be the perfect opportunity to utilize the unfinished construction site that is the New Yankee Stadium! Think of it, if you charge admission, you turn a profit off the new Stadium a full year before it's due to open for games. Plus, the rickety, not-yet-safe structure would so easily become a hazardous exotic temple filled with hostile natives. Maybe they could even create a Virtual Reality version of the lovable sidekick Shortround to guide the paying customers through the Temple's various pitfalls and dangers. Think of the money the organization could make off this; it might make the front office crazies temporarily forget about all that $$$ that will be pouring in once those new Stadium luxury boxes are open for business, and switch their obsession to worshiping Indiana Jones' revenue-generating prowess.

If this seems a little too grand, then perhaps Harrison Ford can be called in to recreate the famous "sword vs. gun" scene from Raiders. Harrison would play Indy of course, and Jason Giambi could play the part of the steroid-fueled, crazed sword twirling brute. It'd be a fitting way to end his Yankees career, and it would save fans the embarassment of having to watch him (not) perform for the rest of the summer.

If none of these possibilities become realities, I will be at least a little disappointed. Although my disappointed would quickly be allayed by landing some free movie swag at the gate on the night of the 22nd. I also expect the Indiana Jones Theme Song to be played inside the Stadium through the course of the game, especially after someone on the Yankees hits a home run. It'd be even better than when they play The Natural Theme.